Were David and Jonathan Homosexuals?

The homosexual community often uses David’s relationship with Jonathan as their '‘proof text" that homosexuality is condoned by God. This is not the case however. Jonathan did exhibit a characteristic that may have been common then and is very common today, Same Sex Attraction (SSA). (See Crosswalk). This phenomenon is not indicative of homosexuality as we see later that Jonathan married and had a son.

SSA is commonly seen in men who have a poor relationship with their father in their early developmental years. It appears that Saul was too busy being king and fighting the Philistines. As a result, Jonathan’s time spent with his father was learning to be a warrior. This resulted in Jonathan’s rebellion. He was probably angry because he did not have his father’s affection.

As these children grow, their longing for male attention turns into a sexual attraction. Jonathan is said to have loved David as he loved his own life and David said, of Jonathan, “your love to me was more wonderful than the love of women”, (2 Sam. 1.26) David is not mentioned as having the same affection for Jonathan. It should be noted that he did not exhibit this SSA characteristic.

Jonathan desired his father’s praise but his father’s praise was showered on David after David killed Goliath and David was able to play the lyre and dispel Saul’s evil spirit. Jonathan projected himself on David and his desire was to be David, all in an effort to have the nurturing of his own father. This is further illustrated when Jonathan strips himself of his outer garment and weapons. Jonathan’s soul (mind, will, emotions) is knit (bound, tie in, love) to the soul of David.

Sometimes, these men continue in SSA and others mature and grow out of the desires as Jonathan may have done, getting married and having children.

The principle we learn is that a boy needs the praise and attention of his father. If he does not, the child’s spirit will be wounded. That injury will turn to anger and the anger bitterness and rebellion. As the youth matures, his orientation will be toward men, constantly seeking the affection and intimacy of a dad. Fathers need to nurture their sons and shower them with praise and affection. The result will be a bond and affection that continues for years beyond adulthood. The son will mature both emotionally and psychologically and will be able to bond with his wife and his own children.