ADD ADHD

After spending several years observing youth with a diagnosis of ADD or ADHD (Attention Deficit Disorder or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), I found that there is a common root to the behavior and I call it Absent Dad Disorder.

During his early years of development, a child needs his father's attention. Without this important relationship, he becomes attention seeking, acts out and is very hyperactive. One may try to discipline him, ignore him, seek therapy or medicate him but the cure is to restore the relationship with his father.

After coming to this conclusion, I spoke with a school psychologist who confirmed my suspicion.

When a family approaches me to discuss this behavior, I give the same advice and always get two distinct responses.

The answer I give: The father needs to take his child on dates, every week. He can NEVER miss a scheduled date as this crushes the child's spirit (or in Biblical terms, exasperates them. Col. 3:21)

The date is time spent one-on-one and never involves another family member (showing how important THEY are to the father). It is all about that specific child. The time can be as short as one hour and can be sitting having a coke. The father is never allowed to use the time to scold, correct or discipline, but rather just listening. The father may never use the child's bad behavior to cancel the appointment. Sometimes bad behavior is a way of determining the father's commitment.

The two replies I get:

When prescribed this SIMPLE solution, the father implements it and sees dramatic changes within a month or two.

Or

The response is, "I've tried that", "I give my child everything", "that will never work"... always an excuse and never a resolution.

It is obvious that there are other causes of ADD but the actual number of children needing "counseling" or medication, in my opinion, is small compared to what one sees today.

"And he will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the land with a curse." Mal. 4:6