Lest I Come And Smite The Land With A Curse

God allows defects (as we call them) and circumstances that shape our future. They are not our fault. How we respond to them and what we do with them, however, will predict our future.

We also determine our children’s future by teaching them how to respond to their circumstances.

As God predestines us, we also predestine our children.

"And he will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the land with a curse." Mal 4:6

The goal of the Christian worker should be to restore hearts, specifically, the hearts of the fathers to their children.

When a child is exasperated by the father (Col. 3:21), a wedge is driven between the two. The curse to his child will be “moral impurity”. The son will be bound to immoral behaviors and the daughter will try to find a boyfriend who fulfils her desire for intimacy with her father.

Curse: Physically (as shutting in a net or trap, either literally or figuratively); usually a doomed object; a cursed thing, things which should have been utterly destroyed.

Loyalty

Adjusting my schedule to meet the needs of those I am serving.

Attentiveness

Listening for the true feelings of a person which he communicates through choice of words, tone of voice and facial expressions.

ADD ADHD

After spending several years observing youth with a diagnosis of ADD or ADHD (Attention Deficit Disorder or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), I found that there is a common root to the behavior and I call it Absent Dad Disorder.

During his early years of development, a child needs his father's attention. Without this important relationship, he becomes attention seeking, acts out and is very hyperactive. One may try to discipline him, ignore him, seek therapy or medicate him but the cure is to restore the relationship with his father.

After coming to this conclusion, I spoke with a school psychologist who confirmed my suspicion.

When a family approaches me to discuss this behavior, I give the same advice and always get two distinct responses.

The answer I give: The father needs to take his child on dates, every week. He can NEVER miss a scheduled date as this crushes the child's spirit (or in Biblical terms, exasperates them. Col. 3:21)

The date is time spent one-on-one and never involves another family member (showing how important THEY are to the father). It is all about that specific child. The time can be as short as one hour and can be sitting having a coke. The father is never allowed to use the time to scold, correct or discipline, but rather just listening. The father may never use the child's bad behavior to cancel the appointment. Sometimes bad behavior is a way of determining the father's commitment.

The two replies I get:

When prescribed this SIMPLE solution, the father implements it and sees dramatic changes within a month or two.

Or

The response is, "I've tried that", "I give my child everything", "that will never work"... always an excuse and never a resolution.

It is obvious that there are other causes of ADD but the actual number of children needing "counseling" or medication, in my opinion, is small compared to what one sees today.

"And he will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the land with a curse." Mal. 4:6

A Servants Heart

Becoming excited about making someone else successful.

Wisdom

Seeing the relationship between the problems of life and the principles of Scripture which have been violated.

Were David and Jonathan Homosexuals?

The homosexual community often uses David’s relationship with Jonathan as their '‘proof text" that homosexuality is condoned by God. This is not the case however. Jonathan did exhibit a characteristic that may have been common then and is very common today, Same Sex Attraction (SSA). (See Crosswalk). This phenomenon is not indicative of homosexuality as we see later that Jonathan married and had a son.

SSA is commonly seen in men who have a poor relationship with their father in their early developmental years. It appears that Saul was too busy being king and fighting the Philistines. As a result, Jonathan’s time spent with his father was learning to be a warrior. This resulted in Jonathan’s rebellion. He was probably angry because he did not have his father’s affection.

As these children grow, their longing for male attention turns into a sexual attraction. Jonathan is said to have loved David as he loved his own life and David said, of Jonathan, “your love to me was more wonderful than the love of women”, (2 Sam. 1.26) David is not mentioned as having the same affection for Jonathan. It should be noted that he did not exhibit this SSA characteristic.

Jonathan desired his father’s praise but his father’s praise was showered on David after David killed Goliath and David was able to play the lyre and dispel Saul’s evil spirit. Jonathan projected himself on David and his desire was to be David, all in an effort to have the nurturing of his own father. This is further illustrated when Jonathan strips himself of his outer garment and weapons. Jonathan’s soul (mind, will, emotions) is knit (bound, tie in, love) to the soul of David.

Sometimes, these men continue in SSA and others mature and grow out of the desires as Jonathan may have done, getting married and having children.

The principle we learn is that a boy needs the praise and attention of his father. If he does not, the child’s spirit will be wounded. That injury will turn to anger and the anger bitterness and rebellion. As the youth matures, his orientation will be toward men, constantly seeking the affection and intimacy of a dad. Fathers need to nurture their sons and shower them with praise and affection. The result will be a bond and affection that continues for years beyond adulthood. The son will mature both emotionally and psychologically and will be able to bond with his wife and his own children.

Saul and Jonathan-continued

A man’s relationship with God is in direct correlation to his relationship with his father.

Jonathan was uncertain of his relationship with his father indicated by his uncertainty of his relationship with God. He may not have had a relationship with God at all, just an observer of how others related to God. He said, “PERHAPS the Lord will work for us”. (14.6)

Jonathan was able to discern the will of God however by “laying out a fleece”, a practice like casting lots, which he had seen others use.

Saul had little regard for his son.

Saul showed little regard for his son when he failed to tell Jonathan that there was a ban on food and goes so far as “cursing the man” who eats. (14:24)

A rebellious man can still be a friend of others.

Jonathan had a good relationship with others that may have sided with him against his father’s compulsive behaviors. We see them gather around him when Saul condemns him to death. (14.44) Jonathan also speaks well of others and knows how to make an appeal on their behalf. His appeals are persuasive. (19.4-6)

He was not a person who was prideful as he speaks of his efforts as, “giving them into the hands of Israel” rather than “giving them into MY hands”. (14:12)

Saul and Jonathan had no relationship.

Jonathan was told all that Saul did but in the light of their relationship, this may have been "table time discussions" or boasting on the part of Saul. (20.2)

Jonathan was deceptive with his father. (20.6, 28)

Saul’s anger burns against Jonathan and he claims that Jonathan is from the lineage of perversion and rebellion. This is an accurate statement as earlier noted: the perversion of the Benjamites and later: God’s condemnation of Saul’s rebellion and insubordination. (20.30, 15.23) Jonathan continued to struggle with these sins.

Saul’s true heart is disclosed when he tries to kill his son and he makes no effort to save Jonathan when the witch of Endor’s spirit foretells of their death the following day. (20.32, 28.19)

Next:  Were Jonathan and David homosexuals as stated by the Metropolitan Church?

The Pain of Rejection of the Father

Jonathan

(From 1 Samuel 14)

The roots of Jonathan’s character sprout not only from his relationship with his father but also from his lineage as a Benjamite.

The Benjamites were a people who were brought under the condemnation of the other tribes for their practice of sodomy. (Judges 19-20)

Jonathan was first mentioned when he was in his father’s military.

Jonathan’s father trained him as a warrior. He is first mentioned as one sent out with a troop of one thousand and conquered the Philistines at Geba. He and his father were the only two with swords. The Israelites did not have swords, as this was a weapon of the more progressive Philistines. The Israelites made weapons with their plowshares. This is significant later because Jonathan gives David his sword. It may be true that Saul’s relationship with Jonathan revolved around what he could do as a soldier. We see many fathers placing this type burden on their sons in that they will show them affection or praise only if they meet a standard or live the life the father plans for them.

Jonathan’s father sowed seeds of rebellion in his son.

Jonathan rebelled and showed little respect for his father, when he “crossed over into the Philistine’s garrison” without consulting his father, the leader of the campaign. (1 Sam. 14.1)

He also showed no respect for his father and undermined his authority when he said, “my father has troubled the land”. (14.29)

This rebelliousness and disrespect for his father may have been the result of a wounded spirit.

Saul was a man given to anger. His iniquity was passed down to his son.

Next, a man's relationship with God and his father as seen in Jonathan.

Gossip:

Revealing private information with someone who is not a part of the problem or a part of the solution.