The Home and Children of the Elder.

The most important portions of the Scripture concerning the qualifications of the elder are as follows:

…having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion. Titus 1

Having children-in the Greek the order is to have children in one’s possession. He must possess children. As if you were told that you must possess a license to drive. It is not saying that you should be working to that end but it must be in your possession.

The word ‘children’ is plural. He must have more than one child. The reason will be explained in the next verse.

Having children who believe-the children must be older, not babies. They must be at the age where it is evident that they are Believers.

Not accused of dissipation or rebellion-this refers to the children, they must not be rebellious nor wasting their time, (riotous, as was the prodigal son). These too reflect on an older child. Why is this important? The children must be older as one will be able to see the “fruit” of the elder’s work. If he can not run his home, he can not run a church. Men can mask their character. We know this by all the news we hear of godly men leading double lives. However, children have not learned the fine art of hypocrisy. If the children are rebellious or without self control, so is the home and prospective elder.

This is borne out in Timothy, “He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?)” 1 Tim. 3

“If a man does not know…” (oida-to have seen or perceived-to learn from observation). You see, one can not select an elder by personality or gifting, but rather he must be selected on how he manages his home. If he has no wife and has no children, he has not learned to manage people. Is not the body of Believers like raising a family, nurturing, meeting needs, giving of ones self for others, settling disputes, wiping noses, feeding? If a man did not learn this experientially, he is not to learn on or at the expense of other Believers.

Having one child, as opposed to more than one, does not teach the elder important aspects of parenting i.e. settling disputes among siblings, multi-tasking, giving more of ones self, etc.

Finally if a man must possess children, conversely, he must be married. As mentioned in the previous post, he can not be a single man and hold the position of elder.

The gist of these verses is: God prescribes elders to be married men and have older children. The character of the elder is modeled by his children and we are to observe his children to assist in making a selection for this position. God teaches men by allowing them the day-to-day experience and year-to-year faithfulness of child rearing in preparation to lead a church. If a man fails at raising children, he will fail at leading a church.

Despite what we think, feel or experience, we must follow this prescription.