Greg asked me why he experienced such pain from his youth. His mother became pregnant, with him, during a brief encounter. Greg never knew a father. He and a sibling were put in foster care after his mother attempted suicide when they found themselves locked out of their mobile home, due to nonpayment of rent.
His youth was marked with neglect and feelings of abandonment.
Why would God allow this?
We all ask this question about our past, adding, "if only I had…". "If only my father loved me". "If only I had not become involved in…". "If only…".
Let's look at this question from God's frame of reference.
I asked Greg, what if, before you were born, God came to you? What if He sat with you and explained that He had a people on earth that were unreachable, a people who experienced rejection, abandonment, and despair? He needed someone to reach out to them, to identify with them and to comfort them. What if God asked your permission, before you were born, to put you in a place where you felt rejected and alone, in order to minister to His people? Would you consent, Greg? Would you be willing to endure this for the sake of the Kingdom to be a living testimony of His love, His power and His Grace to be a part of His story? After all, isn't our testimony a record of what God has done in and with our life?
After pondering this question I saw the mental turmoil on his face. But, he agreed, "of course, if God asked me to endure such a childhood, to later be used to help His people, of course I would agree.
Perhaps God did, Greg.
I asked, "Doesn't this bring a new light to your pain"? "Doesn't this make it all worth it"?
Jesus agreed and came to earth to endure suffering, rejection and death. Luke 9:22
If you would believe this, would it change your perspective on your past, present and future? Would it give your life meaning and purpose? Would it change your complaining to joy? Joy, that God needs a representative on earth, someone to reach His people, someone who has experienced the pain of rejection and grief?
Would this thought transform you from an angry victim to a wounded healer?
What if?
