GROW UP

GROW UP, ACT YOUR AGE, YOU’RE SO IMMATURE…

Ever heard those words before? Maybe you still hear them. Maybe just in your head.

Months after writing the study on James 1 about trials leading to our maturity, I began to question the importance of those first few verses. I started to look at Christians, our walk, our relationship with God and our relationship with other people. I came to see that our number one problem is that we are immature.

Psychologists use terms like narcissistic, egocentric, or self-centered, but God calls it ‘imperfect’. He says, “you are to be perfect, as I am perfect." (Mt. 5:48) Wow, I'd be happy with just moral, friendly or maybe trustworthy, but perfect?

The word ‘perfect’ is translated ‘mature’. God's desire is for us to be mature.

In earlier years, I have taken an approach to Christianity as a list of 'dos and don'ts'. My efforts were focused on struggling with sin and trying to overcome its power over me. However, I am learning that when we grow up, those behaviors begin to pass on their own.

Look at the way children act as opposed to adults. When children are given money, they find the first gum machine or toy to spend it on rather than thinking ahead to the future. Or, they hoard their money and don't give. Emotionally, they cry, pout, scream or 'fly off the handle'. The mature person remains calm and listens. Children fight and don't reason things through. They want instant gratification for their sensual appetites rather than postpone them. They lack contentment and satisfaction.

Paul says, "when I was a child, I spoke as a child, thought as a child and reasoned as a child. When I became a man, I did away with childish ways".

Do any of these ring true with you? They sure do with me.

Why does God want us to be mature? God's ultimate goal is for us to love Him and to love one another. Love comes only after we mature. The immature person is self-centered. The mature person is other-centered. When we are other-centered, we exhibit love. Paul says, "when the perfect (maturity) comes, the partial will be done away." He wrote this in what we call "the love chapter", 1 Cor. 13.

If He wants us to be mature so that we can love one another then how do we get there? What can we do to aid the process? Two scriptures come to mind. James 1 says, trials (temptations and tests) will test your faith and that testing produces endurance. It then says, “Let endurance have its perfect result that you may be mature and complete…” In other words, you need to respond correctly to trials and temptations. The children of Israel responded by grumbling resulting in them continuing on their journey for years. The best response you can have toward your trials and temptations is to allow Him to continue to work in you without grumbling but rather endure with patience and thanksgiving each situation He brings your way. It sounds simple, very simple, but we won’t do it.

The second scripture (Col. 1:28) says, "admonish every man and teaching every man with all wisdom that we may present every man mature." To grow in maturity, submit yourself to teaching and admonition. We often refuse to submit ourselves to others for scrutiny, which would allow them to admonish us and teach us. Think of what would happen to a child if he refused to listen to the teaching and correction of his father; he would be immature and any attempt to grow on his own would result in failure. We must find one or two others that we voluntarily expose ourselves to in order that they can speak into our lives, for our admonition, teaching and maturity.

This child I speak of is best exemplified in “the rich young ruler”. He is described as rich, young and a ruler in three of the Gospels. He was a youth who probably had been given a place of leadership and wealth before he earned them by hard work. This power probably went to his head. It appears that he was raised to be a pious person. However, when he asked Jesus what he had to do to be saved (enter the Kingdom of Heaven), Jesus went to the root of his need. He was immature. He needed to sell, give and follow (leaving the things that held him to this earth and his position of authority). He became very sad and went away. He refused to take the steps to maturity.

Narcissistic, egocentric, or self-centered? God calls us to grow up, to mature. He tells us that this is necessary for us to be effective and He gives us a prescription to bring it about. We are to start responding to his reproofs and corrections without grumbling and allow him to complete what he started in our lives and to submit to brothers who will be able to speak into our lives and give us correction. In this way we will mature and begin to see victory in our lives.